It’s Not a Diet! by Katerina Fretwell

Omnivore carnivore herbivore fedupivore

Eat Right for your Blood Type allows me seafood and molasses
Atkins the Man abhors a bounty of complex carbs
Flat Belly Smart Sugar opines on TexMex and salsa
Ayurveda condemns shellfish, garlic, anything tomato

seems we’re back in belladonna nightshade 1300’s:

when the Devil spawned tomatoes
garlic averted the Evil Eye
and people placed near the Salt were deemed elite
at castle banquet-hall chow-downs

My Western Cancer/Water sign permits my treats:

lake-fish, sea-fish, crustaceans and molluscs
feisty ginger tea, delectable dark chocolate
Studies warn even eyeballing succulent photos
raises Ghrelin the hunger hormone, piles on the pounds

My Eastern Wood Monkey intones: Follow your bliss:

Lobster and clams steam me ocean-briny
fiddle-heads and kale plant me scented-piney
fudge-sauce coffee gelato sources me culture-bound
honeyed ginger tea transports me a Thailand surround

A pox on experts and ideal size Zero; at size 12 life is tasty

 

Copyright © Katerina Fretwell. Originally published in Food For Thought (The Ontario Poetry Society, 2015).

 

Katerina Fretwell’s ninth poetry, and art, book, We Are Malala, will be out from Inanna, launched in Toronto, spring 2019. Her eighth, Dancing on a Pin, was part of IFOA’s Battle of the Bards, was long-listed for Lowther Prize, and five of the poems placed Runner Up in subTerrain’s Outsider Poetry Contest, 2016. Recent poems are in Heartwood and Another Dysfunctional Cancer Anthology.