“Just After the End” by Elizabeth Mudenyo
Poetry Pause is the League of Canadian Poets’ daily poetry dispatch. Read “Just After the End” by Elizabeth Mudenyo.
Just After the End
By Elizabeth Mudenyo
There is a brief goodbye that follows. Greetings. Not from a few prominent figures. But an amalgamation of beings both big and small. Like in a dream. All of their identities are shifting. Your mentor from when you entered your adulthood. Has your neighbour’s nest of wiry hair. She proudly claps her hands together with fire truck red nails like your first grade teacher. She is buzzing with congratulations.
And the boy you adored. Who you took to loving and breaking. Says nothing. With a soft smile and warm eyes. He looks to you as a kind stranger. He passes you and leaves the scent of another. You wanted. But never chased. You wonder if in that instant you were mistaken.
A firm hand pats your shoulder. Your little brother has the strength of your father. And giggles at your surprise. You close your eyes. You want to memorize that laugh. You open them. The barista hands you a drink, and asks where you’re going. You say you don’t know and they nod steadily. “It will be fun to find out. Watch the cup. It’s hot. Your mom called by the way”. You hear this not as nonsense but wisdom. Of course. Hold on carefully to the cup. And call her back. For once priorities in order. It occurs to you that your old dog is not gone. Probably just off the leash. Try whistling.
Your arms ache. You have a heavy need to wrap them around someone. One more time. And then you do. You close your eyes so tight. And hold them even tighter. You don’t feel who it is but are comforted by the fact. That it is beginning to snow. Flakes falling from the sky. It’s a good sign. A time of rest is on its way. A few more moments graze you. The hold never releases. Instead you are fractured. Breaking off into pieces. That float back into sky. You are becoming lighter.
Copyright © Elizabeth Mudenyo
First appeared in Poetry Pause on October 20, 2020
Elizabeth Mudenyo is a Scarborough-based poet. Elizabeth is a fellow of The Watering Hole and the Poetry Incubator, and a participant of the Hurston/Wright Poetry and Diaspora Dialogues Short Form Mentorship with Olive Senior. Her work has appeared in Write Magazine, Arc Magazine, The Ex-Puritan, Canthius, CV2, and elsewhere. Her poetry chapbook, With Both Hands, was published through Anstruther Press. She is a graduate of the MFA in Creative Writing from the University of Guelph.
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