“a love letter to my qáqnaʔ” by AJ Kluck
Poetry Pause is the League of Canadian Poets' daily poetry dispatch. Read "a love letter to my qáqnaʔ" by AJ Kluck.
a love letter to my qáqnaʔ
By AJ Kluck
way̓
i’ve said hello to you before
but it feels better in our language
do you remember me?
do you feel me?
am i doing things in a good way?
i want to be patient and warm and caring
i do
i am trying my best
can you smell me when i smudge? am i even doing it right?
i was told being stamiyaʔ can come from embrace
sharing spirit and love and ribbon skirts
i see you in the water
does your embrace live in my body?
my blood? my bones? my shame?
our pain? our joy?
have you been with me everyday?
with us?
was it even your choice?
i think about you all the time
coercion can also be structural i know that i’m sorry
did you plant that medicine in me?
long roots coiling around my bones, my DNA
spinning in a dream
that’s your embrace,
the dirt within my blood,
a river inside of me,
rustling leaves, pink lip gloss, boundless love
i am trying to wake it up
we are trying
we always have been
but, it feels different now
i thought it was gone
honestly, i didn’t even know much was there, to be gone
you gave me breath
what else was passed down?
what was your favourite kind of tea?
is it okay that i don’t look like you?
i can you feel in my dreams
i introduce myself to you and the water, to you
inx̌mink inqáqnaʔ
can you see me smile now?
Copyright © AJ Kluck
Previously published in SAPIENS.
AJ Kluck is an artist! They are Okanagan and Irish. They like to work and sit and laugh and play and think. Lately AJ has been understanding their reality by connecting with people and going outside, beading and sewing, dancing, and making jewellery. Sometimes they can be a little annoying, sometimes they can even be charming, it’s really a toss up. Overall though, they try not to be late, and they try their best to make the world a better place.
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