“self-portrait” by Charline Osborne
Poetry Pause is the League of Canadian Poets’ daily poetry dispatch. Read “self-portrait” by Charline Osborne.
self-portrait
By Charline Osborne
iโm standing in line at the deli, the blood bank
iโm whistling as i give up my seat for the elderly, gladly
if you find my neck of the woods littered with mini pepperoni,
know that iโve been tossing handfuls of scabs in the air like confetti
i save my eurekas for the little things: lost earbuds, new jeans, fresh sweat
i recite my series of facts. iโve been counting down the sunny days
on the childrenโs abacus in the waiting room. in permanent marker
i list the reasons: the pig wrapped in butcher paper, the needle prick, the dimples
on grandmaโs wobbly knees. sweet silence, unwashed denim, this cold shower
on a summer night. lately i hum a new mantra. lately the days
are getting longer and sadder. iโve been camping outside
the doctorโs office. iโve been making better lists: oops, scratch, sssss
the bubbling hiss of a sunburn. the clink of plastic beads. lately
iโve been praying to myself. lately iโve been retracing the old wounds,
an apprentice copying the old masters. i’m searching for a truth
that looks like fiction, chipping at myself with the prisoner’s spoon
today i smiled too much or too little. dear diary these self-portraits
scare me. i know only myself, my cells forget they’re animals
can i make a confession? in the margins i draw meat and maggots
in little bows and sweaters. iโm standing in line
Copyright ยฉ Charline Osborne
Previously published in Bywords.ca.
Charline Osborne is pursuing an MA in English at Queen’s University and works as a marketing associate. She is originally from Mississauga, Ontario. You can find more of her poetry published on Bywords.ca
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